I was standing in the kitchen this morning hovering over the Nutribullet blending up my smoothie, glancing over at my coffee wondering if it was cold. Spoiler: it was cold. I don’t know why I continue to try to drink my coffee while I’m getting my toddler ready in the morning, doesn’t work.
This morning something came to me, I realized that I was really going to have to be in this for the long haul. A 30 day body rest driven by the principles and guidelines of Whole 30 would just be the beginning, but, in order to change my life to align with the vision I have for myself I have to stay the course continuously. I believe there’s an IG quote for everything in life and there’s one ringing true to me in this moment: “Your new life is going to cost you your old one”.
But why? Why?
I deserve a glass of wine (or 3) after work.
I’m worthy of sweet things. Especially chocolate things.
I genuinely have a connection with pizza. Like, it’s serious and it’s mutual.
But the vision. Right, the vision. And it’s not just about weight and my body even though the food part is 100% about that. There’s more. I have other goals that I haven’t yet put to paper but I’ve been keeping digital tabs on the things that no longer serve my vision, they include:
Mindless scrolling on the socials. I’m like a volleyball back and forth between Instagram and Twitter on my phone and it’s got to stop. My biggest concern is allowing this to penetrate time with my daughter. She sees me as her best friend right now and how dare I let some apps pull me away from quality time with her. When it’s Melody time it’s phone down time. the vision I have of myself as a mother doesn’t involve me having to look back and feel guilt over the way I spend time with her.
Neglecting my creative work. I started this blog as an outlet to prove to myself that I do still find joy in writing and, frankly, that I still can. I mean, I write all day. I write well framed business proposals, I bend marketing catch phrases to my whim on a daily basis, I spend a good chunk of my time making my day job’s priorities my priorities. As I should, they pay me for that. But when it’s late and I have time to myself and I have the option to write whether it’s a blog, a song, or maybe I’ll give fiction another crack (I really want to), I can’t keep pushing it off thinking there will be a more optimal time. Nope, this is your time, use it wisely.
Choosing perfection. I want things to be right. Often I sit on a project for a while because I’m still obsessing over detail after detail reading the same draft of a program outline 50 times. But what good is striving for perfection doing me when having a version that may need refining but is in the works can get me further, like actually moving. My version of perfectionism has manifest itself as stagnation. No more of that. Not at work, not in my personal endeavors either.
Side note: As I write this I’m actually hungry because I didn’t really do that well with timing my meals today, it’s all good though. I’ll drink some water and have a fresh start tomorrow.
Good night.
-M